The Truth About Genuine Confidence (And Why “Fake It Till You Make It” Doesn’t Work)

What is genuine confidence, really?
Why do some people radiate it while others are stuck in doubt and fear—especially in certain areas of life?

If you’ve ever wondered how to feel truly confident—without pretending or forcing it—this post is for you.

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Forget “Fake It Till You Make It”

Let’s get one thing clear: faking it is not real confidence.

You can try to look the part, act bold, or wear a mask of certainty, but deep down—you know when you’re faking. That quiet insecurity doesn’t disappear just because you pretend. In fact, pretending often makes it worse.

Genuine confidence isn’t about masking fear. It’s about transforming it at the root.

➡️ [Watch the full video on building confidence]

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Nobody Is Confident in Everything

There’s a myth that confident people are confident all the time. That’s simply not true.

Confidence is domain-specific. Think about someone who’s been playing basketball their whole life. They’ve practiced, failed, improved, and now they feel at home on the court. That’s not arrogance—it’s earned ease.

But that same person might freeze up when they have to speak in public, do math homework, or talk to someone they’re attracted to.

We’re all confident in some areas—and deeply uncertain in others.

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Where Confidence Really Comes From

So why are you confident in certain areas but not in others?

It all comes down to beliefs.
More specifically: limiting beliefs.

In any area where you don’t feel confident, chances are you’ve internalized beliefs that tell you you’re not good enough, that you might fail, or that something bad will happen.

These beliefs don’t appear out of nowhere. They often come from past experiences—comments someone made, situations that hurt you, or conclusions you drew in moments of stress or fear.

➡️ [Watch the full video on building confidence]

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The Natural State Is Confidence

Here’s the truth: your natural state is confidence.

When you’re not burdened by self-doubt or fear, confidence arises effortlessly.

Think about something new you’ve tried where you didn’t have any baggage—no expectations, no pressure. You probably felt free, relaxed, open. That’s what confidence feels like when there are no limiting beliefs in the way.

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You’re Already Confident—Just In the Wrong Direction

This might surprise you:
If you’re constantly doubting yourself, you’re actually very confident—in your own limitations.

You’re confident that you’ll fail. Confident that you’re not good enough. Confident that others will judge you.

That same certainty can be redirected—once you identify the beliefs that are holding you back.

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How to Let Go of Limiting Beliefs

Here’s a simplified breakdown of how to start releasing the stories that are keeping you small:

Step 1: Recognize the Belief

If you feel fear, insecurity, or hesitation—ask yourself,

“What would I have to believe about myself or the world for this fear to make sense?”

The answer will reveal the belief. Maybe it’s “I always mess things up,” or “I’m not smart enough,” or “People will judge me.”

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Step 2: Investigate the Story

Once you’ve found the belief, examine it:

• Where did this idea come from?
• Is it actually true—or just familiar?
• What do I gain by holding onto it?
• Who would I be without this belief?

You might discover the belief came from someone else—and that it was never yours to begin with.

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Step 3: Unravel and Let Go

Now that you’ve made the belief visible, it loses its power.

Letting go doesn’t have to be dramatic. Often, just seeing the belief for what it is—a story, not a truth—is enough to loosen its grip.

And when the belief fades, something amazing happens:

You become naturally confident again.

➡️ [Watch the full video on building confidence]

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Real Confidence Is What’s Left When Fear Is Gone

You don’t have to fake anything.
You don’t have to pump yourself up.

All you need to do is remove the blocks. When the stories are gone, confidence is what’s left.

Start asking yourself the deeper questions. Get curious about your fear. And most importantly—give yourself permission to outgrow the stories that were never yours.

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Want to go deeper? Watch the full video below where I break this down step by step:

🎥 [Watch the full video on building confidence]